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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Vaccination against Hurtful or Unintended Comments?






I still remember the first few days I arrived in the dorms at Davis. I tried talking to people around me and I was a scared little puppy. When I started to communicate, people didn't understand my Malaysian accent and I was asked to repeat what I was saying many many times. After a couple of failed attempts, people stopped asking and I stopped talking.

That was when I met a special person who took me under his wings. He nurtured me, taught me how to speak like them plus other fancy vocabularies, and scolded me when I didn't stand up for myself. All his mentoring changed me: my confidence was brimming and I was no longer afraid to speak up. I am forever indebted to this wonderful and lovely person.




In the pursuit to better my communication skills, I took this class called Interpersonal Communication and boy, it changed my life. I realized that I took for granted the importance of communications in my daily life, and I was practicing some damaging communications skills. Quoting from the textbook that I still keep today,

"We spend our lives communicating. From the moment we're born we interact in meaningful ways with other humans beings... Eventually, we discover that communication enables us to connect with and understand the unique inner worlds of others....Communications is transformed from a vehicle for self-expression to a means for building relationships"- Reflect and Relate by Steven McCornack.

This definition is universal to all human, no matter how introverted you are. The point of all my rambling is that, through communications (verbal or not), we exchange meaning, feelings, thoughts, expressions. It is a pretty darn powerful way to interact!

Never in any circumstances shall we undermine the power of words. Words are NOT just words. "The words we exchange profoundly affect not only our interpersonal communications and relationships but also others" (Steven McCornack). I remember my lecturer's childhood anecdote that she shared during the mentioned class. My lecturer was often bullied by her sister when she was a little girl and when she cried running to her mom, her mom would comfort her by saying that "words are words, nothing more than that". However, if this was true, why didn't she feel better? She was still hurt and emotionally scarred by her sister's teasing and verbal abuse.

The truth is, whether we do mean or not the words we utter, we must take responsibility of the things we say. We must be aware that when we say things, it is like throwing an imaginary ball encapsulating a message to someone. We say words, people will take it as a verbal manifestation of your intention (regardless of your REAL intention, if any) and your words have the ability to excite, humiliate, elevate, or hurt others. Words can make a person reach the highest point of elation (eg: "I love you" , "Marry me?" , "You made me the luckiest person alive") or cause irreversible damage (eg: "I don't love you anymore" , personal attacks, hurtful and insincere comments).


Sometimes we say things we don't mean to say. Sometimes we're driven by emotions. Sometimes we don't realize that the words we say actually matter. They do! They matter alot. Especially the words of people we love and admire.

There's no way we can be "immune" to hurtful utterance. There's no way to delete our memory of a negative comment. There's no way we can just disregard the words that were not "meant" to be said, the accidental remarks. We are humans with feeling, not robots. Hurtful and negative words cause irreversible damage to people and relationships. It can take months to get over and sometimes it'll stick around in our permanent memory for eternity. Do we want this to happen to our loved ones?

So the point of all these is a mental reminder for myself and for sharing purposes, because I have been awakened by the power of hurtful and damaging words. Let's be careful and wary of the things we say to others as in Think Before We Speak. Spend a couple of seconds to decide how the words we choose are going to affect others. Because I still can't find the Vaccination against Hurtful Comments or the spell to Turn the Clock.

When we hurt people, people will leave us.


Footnote: THREE (3) of my girlfriends I talked to has bought the communications bibles I recommended below. Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus is the best-seller that covers the quintessential of cross-gender communications while Mars and Venus Together Forever reiterates the same concept, but in the context of a relationship or marriage. You and your man will find it useful. It definitely made a difference in my relationship(s).


Above:Take home msg from this piece: W0men need empathy, not solutions, while men need to be appreciated and express themselves through actions.




Above: My current read..





P/s: I immensely enjoyed Shrek 3 (I know I am late :P).

Healthnote: Jogged 3 laps, 1 breakfast shake, normal lunch, fruit salad and dinner was rice, mixed vegs, fish and egg.




Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Atie's Spontaneous Makeover with Shazreeyana: Using Red Earth Cleopatra Eyeshadow and MAC Faux Lipstick


Before anything, a collage for whoever's viewing pleasure...



Above: Vain overload! HAHA. If you haven't notice, I love buying clothes, especially girl-y pieces with embroidery and floral prints. I am revamping my wardrobe (lemari pon takdak haha) with "sweet" and girl-next-door-looking pieces as that's what pleases moi <3.

Anyway today was a rather spontaneous vanity event. My housemate aka jogging partner was part of my experimentation of a shading technique and it turns out to be a full blown makeover! Either way I had so much fun making her up, thanks to the help of my beauty guru, Sista. The end result was that my muse looks so sultry and beautiful with just the right amount of make-up. Let the pictures rock your socks....

Before the makeover...
Above: Atie before the MakeOver

Above: The basics of applying eyeshadow: Light colored base on eyelid and Dark colors on crease as shown above. Don't forget to blend afterwards to avoid looking like an alien.

Above: I applied this Red Earth ( pic below) 38 Cleopatra
Illusion Lights Eyeshadow (RM34 from Sasa) as the framing color on the crease. It is a very nice and fine high-quality pigment with almost no fallout or creasing.
I'd like to send out a special thanks to my cutie patootie for these brushes from a Night Market near HUKM. They are a steal!
Above: Slathering my spanking new lippy from M.A.C called Faux (Pic below) (RM 65).

Above: I asked the M.A.C salesgirl about the #1 selling lippy at the store and she mentioned that "Faux" is selling like hotcakes nowadays. After trying it, I have to say I am sold! It is pretty shade of nude pink, almost magenta-ish color with long-lasting quality and makes a great pair with any gloss you have, especially clear 0r sparkly pink frost.


Be ready for the FULL reveal.....


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Above: Ta-dah! Atie looks so sultry and gorgeous with these colors. BTW noticed the shading on her cheeks and jawline?

Above: The closeup of the eye makeup. Basically I used Revlon Colorstay eyeliner in Black (Rm28) and the VE mascara.




Above: After pic with flash.
Above: After pic without flash
After: One more for your eyecandy. Oh ya, btw Atie is happily engaged. *applause*








Above: Atie's voluptous full lips are to be envied! They wear the Faux lippy beautifully and matches her skin tone perfectly! I just have to put up this luscious kissable picture.

Above: The last camwhoring with yours truly who looks beaten up from work :P


All in all, I enjoyed myself so much when I make people feel beautiful. A simple touch can make a difference in one's confidence and it is a gift to other women if I can make them a little more glowy and excited. Oh how I love makeup!

Have a good evening peeps!


Health note:

Not much changed, maintained 2 shakes per day, skip the evening tea due to insomnia and feeling more energetic albeit the lack of physical activity. I haven't been sick (yet). Feeling a little full of spirit lately. XOXO

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Beauty Sharing: Maybelline Volum' Express Mascara Review

Ola Aloha Mahalo!

Well today, yours truly will do a beauty tips post especially for my sweeties out there. Everyone close to me would guess that if I was stranded on an island and granted one vanity wish, I would opt to have a mascara at hand. Haha. Also, I love coating my lashes with many many many layers of the eyelash enhancer and I would try to get every single lash on my eyelid. Haha. I'm a bit OCD in that sense.
Above: Be ready. I'm gonna ramble on about this mascara.


Basically, I "mistakenly" bought this Maybelline Volum' Express Cat Eyes Mascara in Black (RM 34). I was a regular for Maybelline Magnum Mascara, but since I speculated that the Magnum was causing some eye irritation (hence the red veins in my eyeball: you'll notice later), I wanted to switch to something different. I grabbed the Volum' Express (VE) and was very disappointed by the shape of the wand. I wanted a full-on big fat brush, but this pathetic wand looks like a small little comb! It looks like it is meant for lower lashes or itsy bitsy baby lashes. Little did I know that I was about to be proved terribly wrong!*buzzer sound*

After trying it, I have to say that it is such a wonderful and inexpensive mascara that provides definition, separation and elongation of lashes with MINIMAL CLUMPING, compared to Magnum which is my (previous) favorite. Now I have to say I am in LOVE with VE!

Now let the pictures do the talking...

Before: Without VE. BTW if you wear colored contacts Please Please Please use some mascara. You'd look ill otherwise. *my pet peeves*

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After: VIOLA! Can you see how well-separated the lashes are? I guess the secret was in the wand shape, which combed my eyelash separately while coating them evenly.

Above: Aerial view of moi eyes. LEFT with VE, RIGHT without VE.

Above:With flash, so you can have a sharper look at these lashies. And my seemingly crossed eyes.

Above: Done! Now I am ready to go buy some fruits! (Haha pakai mascara tebal2 pegi beli buah kat Taipan). Anyway ignore my hair I will chop them off soon.

By the way, you'll notice that people will complement your lashes and give second glances to figure out if you're actually wearing falsies or not. I'm loving it and fully recommend that you give this a shot once your mascara is expired.

Anyway more pics:



Above: the fruits for freezing, ingredients for my smoothies; flowers I bought that really elevated my mood; clothes I shopped for because I was in dire need for some retail therapy. Haha. Anyway this place in Taipan has a fashion expert to mix and match stuff for you! The clothes are between RM10-50.




Health Note:

Yesterday:
Food intake: 1 shake only, Lunch Salmon Salad and the BreadButterPudding. Dinner: 8 course meal @ Work (demmit)
Exercise: None, unless we count the waking hours.

Today: 2 shakes, Lunch leftover Marinara and yogurt+muesli
Exercise: None, it was raining the moment I wore my running shoes. :((



Okay I shall end this post abruptly since I have so much work work work to do. I'm excited for tomorrow's Xmas dinner. I want to be a Santa Baby. Anyway I hope girls out there can benefit from this post. Let me know if you gave VE a try or if you have a favorite to share.


Toodly toodleloo peeps. Have a sweet dream!